very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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