Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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