went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
