pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
