my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She bit a glass in half.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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