She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
