remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize