you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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