You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
