I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize