I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
