Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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