"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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