So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
