Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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