Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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