I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
