My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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