Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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