hell yes lets make some ravioli
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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