I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
