We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
