I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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