I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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