PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
