My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
