i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
