grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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