hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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