There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
