butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
