my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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