we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
