Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
