he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
