ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
