would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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