Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
