shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
