I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
