Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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