why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Small penises have feelings too.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize