So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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