i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
