even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
