this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would fuck him just for his dog
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
