We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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