I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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