I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
