This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
