hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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