Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
