but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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