We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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