No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
MIDGETS
????
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
