I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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