your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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