I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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